date 12 may 2009
words: adam ward
My wife is pregnant, and if all goes to plan I will be a father by the end of November. I am excited, proud and anxious. I am also very aware that my current lifestyle is about to change. Naturally, this includes my level of participation to the music I have spent the last six years making and promoting. I feel very ready to begin this next chapter in my life, but know at this juncture that I owe a lot to the scene and the people involved who have taught me so much and have given me the confidence to take this next challenge.
Music has made these last half dozen years the most exciting and productive I’ve ever had. Like most folk you talk to at shows, I’ve had times where watching or playing an upcoming show is the only glimmer of light that makes the working weeks bearable. I’ve certainly had times where all other aspects of my life have suffered while I find myself in the engrossed in recording, playing and organising shows, or labouring over song writing. But, I also know that there are many more people around this country travelling similar roads to me. People who are burning the candle at both ends to create something of their own to affect change. Many of these people have kept me inspired, and shown me the qualities I wish my own children will grow to have.
It has been an honour to have been surrounded by critical thinkers, courageous enough to put their heads above the crowd to speak and write about their beliefs. I’ve loved nothing more than seeing kids getting on the mic and spill their guts for their cause. Kids who know it takes more than just saying things are wrong, but who will challenge the listeners to think or do something to affect positive change. People that use music, zines, shows and the many other art forms that fit in our scene to take a stand for something, regardless of wether the idea is popular or not. I’ve seen people and bands flourish from being challenged by their peers or from rising to defend something they are genuinely passionate about.
I’ve learn so much from the number of folks who constantly put their reputations, relationships and bank accounts out on a limb to organise bands, recordings, shows and tours purely for the love of it. These are people who aren’t satisfied with living off the merits of others, and will put themselves at risk to give things a go. They aren’t content to sit on their ass and complain when others organise things that don’t meet their exact preferences. The level of professionalism in all areas of local music such as recording, tours has come light years in such a short space of time, and I credit this largely to these people who are constantly out pushing the boundaries to make their music and scene better and to try things for themselves.
Through it all, I’m proud to have made a number of friendships that I’m sure will live longer than my time in the scene. Loyal mates who do what they say they will do. Tell you when things are shit, will disagree if they feel compelled to and aren’t scared to tell you when you are wrong. Friends that aren’t interested in you solely for their own personal gain or what you can give them. Friends who you can lend stuff to, and will wait for a response when they ask how you are. Friends that are inspiring, and challenge you to keep moving forward. There are some I will gladly text to have a beer with, while others who I have in mind for upcoming kayaking missions.
If the upcoming birth of my first child does spell the end for my stint playing in my band, then I bow out more than grateful for what I have been allowed to achieve. It would be my dream that my kids choose to take a similar path when they are ready, at least taking the opportunity I had to walk along with peers who refuse to just be passengers in life. I hope they find the drive to create something to affect change like I see kids doing week in and week out in the scene. If my own children grow to display some of these qualities and principles I am thankful to have witnessed through my time in Every Man For Himself, then I know I will be doing my job as a Dad.